On Wednesday (August 5th) I spent the evening with my Mom at the Edmonton Folk Music Festival at Gallagher Park. Both Tracy Chapman and Sarah McLachlan were fantastic. The hill was a sight to behold with thousands of people and hundreds of twinkling lights. Tracy performed many of my favourite songs including "Mountain O' Things" and "Talkin' About a Revolution." Sarah performed "Angel", Joni Mitchell's "River", "Ice Cream" and several other hits...
The Edmonton Folk Fest is now celebrating its 30th year. Hard to believe that I've attended more than 90% of those years. As a child the festival was small (with attendance in the low to mid hundreds) and while our parents enjoyed the music and relaxed atmosphere; us kids spent the weekend sliding down the steep hill on cardboard boxes or playing in the playground. During rainy weather we would scour the park for stakes and branches (or anything else that would be helpful for creating a plastic tarp lean-to). Then we would read, sleep or play card games while attempting to stay dry or dance in the sometimes knee deep mud until we were soaking wet and exhausted. Today, the festival is a huge event with more than eighty thousand attendees each year. Of course, sliding on the hill is no longer permitted (there's no room for it anyway) and the rules and regulations are now more stringent then the years of my youth; which is hardly surprising considering the number of people. It's still an amazing event though and I certainly hope that my children will have fond memories from future years at the Folk Fest too! Perhaps DH and I will make plans to attend next year's festival with JG and our newest addition due in March.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Tantrums, Teething and Grandma...
I can't believe JG is already 21 months old as of yesterday. We went to the lake today and visited with family and JG's Grandma (My Mom). My Mom has been living in California for a couple of years now and so, we don't get to see her very often. The last time JG spent time with her was at Christmas when she flew in for a quick week-long visit.
JG however, isn't always receptive to other people's exuberant interactions. Like many toddlers he is still learning the fine social skills of interactive play. Throwing a ball back and forth for example, is difficult to encourage. Not that he won't toss a ball but, it isn't necessarily going to be in your direction.
Tantrums are also more frequent than they used to be and of course DH and I are not always sure how to handle them when we are outside the home and under the eye of public scrutiny. With JG's recent teething (he's currently getting his back molars) it is often difficult to discern whether JG is simply throwing a tantrum or if he is just hurting. Food wars are also more prevalent. JG has become more picky recently; and again, it is difficult to distinguish his stubbornness to try a new food from his lack of appetite or desire to eat. Of course, DH and I find it even more difficult to deal effectively with these situations with an audience of family members present. Although, everyone seems to have well intentioned suggestions regarding tantrums, teething, fussiness, food wars and countless other scenarios; I still find it more challenging to cope when we're outside of our home.
JG however, isn't always receptive to other people's exuberant interactions. Like many toddlers he is still learning the fine social skills of interactive play. Throwing a ball back and forth for example, is difficult to encourage. Not that he won't toss a ball but, it isn't necessarily going to be in your direction.
Tantrums are also more frequent than they used to be and of course DH and I are not always sure how to handle them when we are outside the home and under the eye of public scrutiny. With JG's recent teething (he's currently getting his back molars) it is often difficult to discern whether JG is simply throwing a tantrum or if he is just hurting. Food wars are also more prevalent. JG has become more picky recently; and again, it is difficult to distinguish his stubbornness to try a new food from his lack of appetite or desire to eat. Of course, DH and I find it even more difficult to deal effectively with these situations with an audience of family members present. Although, everyone seems to have well intentioned suggestions regarding tantrums, teething, fussiness, food wars and countless other scenarios; I still find it more challenging to cope when we're outside of our home.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Weight Wise & More Pregnancy Symptoms....
Well, I attended my first Weight Wise Workshop today (the beginning of an eight module course) meant to kick start my journey to better health....Of course the journey will certainly be even longer for me....The day I finally received my acceptance letter (nearly a year and a half following my referral) was the same day my pregnancy test came back positive....And so it goes....
Of course the pregnancy will set back my initial assessment at the clinic but, on a more positive note, I was pleased that my pregnancy shouldn't prevent me from completing all the necessary modules or remove my name/status from the clinic wait list....They will simply move my initial assessment to approximately six months following my due date. Of course this is not the best news but, it is better then waiting another year and a half following my delivery!
The "Getting Started" workshop was at least somewhat informative and it was comforting to know that I am not the only person out there who has some significant weight to lose or lifestyle changes to make! The instructor, Tiara, assured me that she would contact me tomorrow with more information related directly to my circumstances. I'm hoping that she will have some recommendations on how I might avoid the gestational diabetes diagnosis I received during my last pregnancy.
I'm only in my 8th week so, it will still be some time before a gestational diabetes test will be done. My risks are certainly higher due to the status of my first pregnancy but, than again....There have have been some significant differences between my current and previous pregnancies....
With JG, I had very minor episodes of nausea and fatigue. The only thing I couldn't eat was ice cream and of course I didn't experience spotting during my first trimester....with this pregnancy I have experienced several bouts of nausea, fatigue, vomiting, drowsiness and of course spotting plus, I can still eat ice cream. Perhaps one of the more positive outcomes will be a lack of gestational diabetes (here's hoping anyway!)
Of course the pregnancy will set back my initial assessment at the clinic but, on a more positive note, I was pleased that my pregnancy shouldn't prevent me from completing all the necessary modules or remove my name/status from the clinic wait list....They will simply move my initial assessment to approximately six months following my due date. Of course this is not the best news but, it is better then waiting another year and a half following my delivery!
The "Getting Started" workshop was at least somewhat informative and it was comforting to know that I am not the only person out there who has some significant weight to lose or lifestyle changes to make! The instructor, Tiara, assured me that she would contact me tomorrow with more information related directly to my circumstances. I'm hoping that she will have some recommendations on how I might avoid the gestational diabetes diagnosis I received during my last pregnancy.
I'm only in my 8th week so, it will still be some time before a gestational diabetes test will be done. My risks are certainly higher due to the status of my first pregnancy but, than again....There have have been some significant differences between my current and previous pregnancies....
With JG, I had very minor episodes of nausea and fatigue. The only thing I couldn't eat was ice cream and of course I didn't experience spotting during my first trimester....with this pregnancy I have experienced several bouts of nausea, fatigue, vomiting, drowsiness and of course spotting plus, I can still eat ice cream. Perhaps one of the more positive outcomes will be a lack of gestational diabetes (here's hoping anyway!)
Saturday, July 18, 2009
A Worthwhile Milestone!
JG learned to drink from a straw today....A small milestone perhaps and certainly one that I have witnessed younger children master but, I was overjoyed. With a little more practice we may actually be able to convince JG to forgo the sippy cup in favour of a straw....I am also hoping that it will help him with drinking from a cup. I have witnessed a vast improvement over the last several weeks but, it will still be some time before I will hand him a regular cup to drink from unsupervised. The ability to drink from a cup and straw were also mentioned in the "Encouraging First Words" workshop that DH and I attended last week. The ability to "drink" from a cup is believed to be connected to improved speech development. Definitely a worthwhile milestone.
I have been experiencing some brown to light-pink spotting (only when I wipe) since Tuesday afternoon (four days ago). The ultrasound on Thursday however, indicated that a healthy, developing gestational sack (approx. 6 weeks along) was visible. This reassurance was certainly worth the discomfort I experienced from the internal ultrasound. I'm still worried but, today the spotting seems to have nearly disappeared so, I am praying that this is a sign that everything is okay. I have an obstetrics appointment scheduled for next Thursday so, I am hoping that I will have a stronger certainty of where things are at once I speak with my doctor.
We're having tornado like weather this evening. It was hot day today (+33C) but, now the winds have picked up and the lightning storm outside our window is phenomenal. We have not experienced a Tornado directly in our city for over 20 years but, I would not be surprised in the least if one touched down tonight. I just pray that it isn't in our neck of the woods and that we don't have any damages to repair in the morning. Besides, I'm not looking forward to hunkering down in our dirt crawl space for the night...I'd almost rather fly to Oz!
I have been experiencing some brown to light-pink spotting (only when I wipe) since Tuesday afternoon (four days ago). The ultrasound on Thursday however, indicated that a healthy, developing gestational sack (approx. 6 weeks along) was visible. This reassurance was certainly worth the discomfort I experienced from the internal ultrasound. I'm still worried but, today the spotting seems to have nearly disappeared so, I am praying that this is a sign that everything is okay. I have an obstetrics appointment scheduled for next Thursday so, I am hoping that I will have a stronger certainty of where things are at once I speak with my doctor.
We're having tornado like weather this evening. It was hot day today (+33C) but, now the winds have picked up and the lightning storm outside our window is phenomenal. We have not experienced a Tornado directly in our city for over 20 years but, I would not be surprised in the least if one touched down tonight. I just pray that it isn't in our neck of the woods and that we don't have any damages to repair in the morning. Besides, I'm not looking forward to hunkering down in our dirt crawl space for the night...I'd almost rather fly to Oz!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Guilty As Charged...I Rest My Case!
When I was pregnant with our first child I had a close friend (whose opinion's I value highly) advise me that "You truly don't know what it's like to be a parent until you're knee deep in it!" Knee deep? Heck! Sometimes it's right over my head! I was prepared (well, as prepared as one can be) for sleepless nights, dirty diapers, a messy house, umpteen loads of laundry, sore breasts, a strong aversion to rekindling sexual relations with my spouse for the first six months (I'd have rather slept) and many of the other countless "joys" of parenting. One of the things I wasn't prepared for though was "The Guilt!"
Guilty for not continuing to breastfeed (our then underweight son) after only three months, guilty for not changing JG's shirt every single time he threw up (JG had an underdeveloped digestive system for the first nine months of his life and he could regurgitate several ounces of his stomach contents every 10 minutes), guilty for raising my voice when frustration gets the best of me, guilty for praying that nap time last just five more minutes so that I can have some more "me time", guilty, guilty guilty...It's never ending...
Over time I've learned to accept the fact that many of the daily things I feel guilty about are unwarranted. Our child is a healthy (and for the most part a happy) little boy). So far, we have managed to stay afloat financially and I think we have many good reasons to be thankful.
However, the floodgates of guilt always seem to open when family comes around. I love my family dearly and for the most part we are fortunate that we can remain civil, friendly and sincere most of the time. We have certainly been known to have family gatherings with holidays and celebrations reminiscent of a Norman Rockwell painting. But, there are times when I wonder if we are a little to comfortable in our laid back atmosphere. When tact and discretion are thrown by the wayside and replaced with criticism and judgement (no matter how subtle it may come across).
"So-and-so sure has packed on a few pounds lately." (of course the aforementioned party is no longer in the room or is absent from the event).
"Such and such really needs to take that dog of theirs to dog training"
"I'm trying to lose a few pounds"
"That's great...Here have some cake!" "Oh, one piece won't kill you!" "Besides it's your birthday!" "Would you like some ice cream too?" "I'll send the rest home with you!" (if guilt isn't already present; it soon will be!)
"Shouldn't he be talking by now?"
"As I explained yesterday (for over an hour...) we're looking into speech therapy. We have an appointment to get his hearing checked next month".
"Can't they get him in sooner?" "Have you checked with your own doctor?"
"Yes, the waiting list is quite long."
"Well, I just remember so-and-so's kids being much more talkative and attentive at this age!"
Me thinking....Yes, I know....Just like I explained yesterday...This is why we're doing everything we can to start an early-intervention program now so that he isn't delayed by the time he begins school (Did you even hear a single word I said yesterday? Obviously our son isn't the only one who needs to have his hearing checked!)
"You really need to get his hearing checked...Maybe that's the problem!"
Oy vey! (Me thinking again...I am very well aware and concerned about his speech delay...I have spent countless hours researching and exploring this very topic. I appreciate that you are concerned too. However, I AM NOT CLUELESS!) Can we stop talking about this now?
Why am I feeling guilty again?
Guilty for not continuing to breastfeed (our then underweight son) after only three months, guilty for not changing JG's shirt every single time he threw up (JG had an underdeveloped digestive system for the first nine months of his life and he could regurgitate several ounces of his stomach contents every 10 minutes), guilty for raising my voice when frustration gets the best of me, guilty for praying that nap time last just five more minutes so that I can have some more "me time", guilty, guilty guilty...It's never ending...
Over time I've learned to accept the fact that many of the daily things I feel guilty about are unwarranted. Our child is a healthy (and for the most part a happy) little boy). So far, we have managed to stay afloat financially and I think we have many good reasons to be thankful.
However, the floodgates of guilt always seem to open when family comes around. I love my family dearly and for the most part we are fortunate that we can remain civil, friendly and sincere most of the time. We have certainly been known to have family gatherings with holidays and celebrations reminiscent of a Norman Rockwell painting. But, there are times when I wonder if we are a little to comfortable in our laid back atmosphere. When tact and discretion are thrown by the wayside and replaced with criticism and judgement (no matter how subtle it may come across).
"So-and-so sure has packed on a few pounds lately." (of course the aforementioned party is no longer in the room or is absent from the event).
"Such and such really needs to take that dog of theirs to dog training"
"I'm trying to lose a few pounds"
"That's great...Here have some cake!" "Oh, one piece won't kill you!" "Besides it's your birthday!" "Would you like some ice cream too?" "I'll send the rest home with you!" (if guilt isn't already present; it soon will be!)
"Shouldn't he be talking by now?"
"As I explained yesterday (for over an hour...) we're looking into speech therapy. We have an appointment to get his hearing checked next month".
"Can't they get him in sooner?" "Have you checked with your own doctor?"
"Yes, the waiting list is quite long."
"Well, I just remember so-and-so's kids being much more talkative and attentive at this age!"
Me thinking....Yes, I know....Just like I explained yesterday...This is why we're doing everything we can to start an early-intervention program now so that he isn't delayed by the time he begins school (Did you even hear a single word I said yesterday? Obviously our son isn't the only one who needs to have his hearing checked!)
"You really need to get his hearing checked...Maybe that's the problem!"
Oy vey! (Me thinking again...I am very well aware and concerned about his speech delay...I have spent countless hours researching and exploring this very topic. I appreciate that you are concerned too. However, I AM NOT CLUELESS!) Can we stop talking about this now?
Why am I feeling guilty again?
Monday, July 13, 2009
The Amazing Dad & The So-So Mom...
I have to admit that my DH is a wonderful father. He's attentive, playful, encouraging, fun and is very involved in the life of our energetic toddler. As a stay-at-home Mom; I am also involved with nearly every aspect of our son's life and I am grateful that I have the opportunity to be at home with him. Like many stay-at-home parents however, I am also the one that pursues many more of the mundane aspects of parenting. Like the endless loads of laundry, monitoring the tight budget of a family living on one income and of course teaching our child the values, virtues and acceptable behaviours that are important to our family.
The decision for me to stay at home was simple...My DH brought home a more lucrative paycheck than I did and during my maternity leave the company I worked for was sold and restructured. Over 98% of the positions at the company were eliminated (including mine) and employees were payed (or more like pushed) out the door. After calculating the financial costs of child care, transportation, wardrobe essentials, bagged lunches and the countless other costs associated with going back to work it seemed ineffectual for me to return to the workforce. Plus, there were other considerations involved in our decision. We wanted more children and DH and I felt that if we could manage it; we wanted one of us to be at home during our children's primary years.
DH has usually left for work by the time JG wakes most mornings. When DH arrives home each day from work our toddler often greets him at the door with a fanfare befitting the Queen of England. I'm not surprised by this. Envious? Yes! But, not surprised. JG has just spent an entire day under Mommy's watchful eye and he is well aware that I will probably "be there" throughout the evening. Daddy on the other hand seems more like a daily visitor that arrives on gossamer wings to share stories of adventure and, with renewed energy, to play until bedtime. My energy of course has been sucked dry by a day fraught with a list of errands, chores and now first trimester pregnancy fatigue. Who wouldn't be excited by the arrival of "Super Dad" who is destined to save the day. After one of our more grueling days of non-stop discipline or hectic daily agendas I have been known to run to the door myself to greet DH with open arms and cries of "Amen and Hallelujah!" "Thank God reinforcements have arrived!"
It is wonderful to have the help and support of a loving spouse but, I have to admit that I am really getting tired of some of the subtle, yet frequent comments and gestures made by many well-intentioned family members. JG has become known as a "Daddy's Little Boy" amongst many of our family and friends and I am fine with JG being particularly close to his Dad. However, I could live without the many gender-biased innuendos and nuances shared by my family that regularly make me feel like an inadequate mother and caregiver.
Yes, my DH DOES change diapers (even the smelly ones), he dresses, feeds, bathes, disciplines and provides ample cuddles and goodnight kisses to our young son. I expect nothing less when our second child arrives next year. Like me, DH is an INVOLVED parent! Shocking? I think not! I never would have reproduced with a man who wasn't willing to take on the daily tasks and responsibilities of raising a child. In our house Parenthood is a shared partnership not a one-man (or should I say one-woman) show!
But, for some reason changing a diaper or settling our toddler down for a nap are tasks worthy of a standing ovation when my DH does them! Why is this? Is it that amazing that DH has somehow learned to be a competent caregiver over his last 20 months of Fatherhood? Is my DH (or anyone for that matter) really that deserving of a "Gold Star" each time he/she changes a diaper without complaint?
Why then, did I as a new mother always feel like I was supposed to "know it all" from the moment I gave birth to our son? I still feel like I will never achieve "Good Mom" status in the eyes of many family members. Not because I don't try to be the best Mom that I can be but, because the expectations are simply unattainable for ANY human being.
I am thrilled that our son is fortunate enough to know his great grandparents, I love that JG is close to his Dad and that my DH is such a willing participant on this long journey of parenthood. I only hope that we will be able to teach JG and future generations that the breadwinner/homemaker - hunter/gatherer roles are not related to gender but, are a collaborative effort between two hard-working, amazing people who want the best for their children.
The decision for me to stay at home was simple...My DH brought home a more lucrative paycheck than I did and during my maternity leave the company I worked for was sold and restructured. Over 98% of the positions at the company were eliminated (including mine) and employees were payed (or more like pushed) out the door. After calculating the financial costs of child care, transportation, wardrobe essentials, bagged lunches and the countless other costs associated with going back to work it seemed ineffectual for me to return to the workforce. Plus, there were other considerations involved in our decision. We wanted more children and DH and I felt that if we could manage it; we wanted one of us to be at home during our children's primary years.
DH has usually left for work by the time JG wakes most mornings. When DH arrives home each day from work our toddler often greets him at the door with a fanfare befitting the Queen of England. I'm not surprised by this. Envious? Yes! But, not surprised. JG has just spent an entire day under Mommy's watchful eye and he is well aware that I will probably "be there" throughout the evening. Daddy on the other hand seems more like a daily visitor that arrives on gossamer wings to share stories of adventure and, with renewed energy, to play until bedtime. My energy of course has been sucked dry by a day fraught with a list of errands, chores and now first trimester pregnancy fatigue. Who wouldn't be excited by the arrival of "Super Dad" who is destined to save the day. After one of our more grueling days of non-stop discipline or hectic daily agendas I have been known to run to the door myself to greet DH with open arms and cries of "Amen and Hallelujah!" "Thank God reinforcements have arrived!"
It is wonderful to have the help and support of a loving spouse but, I have to admit that I am really getting tired of some of the subtle, yet frequent comments and gestures made by many well-intentioned family members. JG has become known as a "Daddy's Little Boy" amongst many of our family and friends and I am fine with JG being particularly close to his Dad. However, I could live without the many gender-biased innuendos and nuances shared by my family that regularly make me feel like an inadequate mother and caregiver.
Yes, my DH DOES change diapers (even the smelly ones), he dresses, feeds, bathes, disciplines and provides ample cuddles and goodnight kisses to our young son. I expect nothing less when our second child arrives next year. Like me, DH is an INVOLVED parent! Shocking? I think not! I never would have reproduced with a man who wasn't willing to take on the daily tasks and responsibilities of raising a child. In our house Parenthood is a shared partnership not a one-man (or should I say one-woman) show!
But, for some reason changing a diaper or settling our toddler down for a nap are tasks worthy of a standing ovation when my DH does them! Why is this? Is it that amazing that DH has somehow learned to be a competent caregiver over his last 20 months of Fatherhood? Is my DH (or anyone for that matter) really that deserving of a "Gold Star" each time he/she changes a diaper without complaint?
Why then, did I as a new mother always feel like I was supposed to "know it all" from the moment I gave birth to our son? I still feel like I will never achieve "Good Mom" status in the eyes of many family members. Not because I don't try to be the best Mom that I can be but, because the expectations are simply unattainable for ANY human being.
I am thrilled that our son is fortunate enough to know his great grandparents, I love that JG is close to his Dad and that my DH is such a willing participant on this long journey of parenthood. I only hope that we will be able to teach JG and future generations that the breadwinner/homemaker - hunter/gatherer roles are not related to gender but, are a collaborative effort between two hard-working, amazing people who want the best for their children.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Ready to Sell Just in Time!
RP and LP came to visit with JG today and to inspect our house before we put it on the market. JG loved the hour he was able to spend with RP. RP took JG for a walk down the block to see the trains and he loved the extra attention. I was releaved that there are only a couple minor things we need to do before we sell (like cutting back a few tree branches)....We will hopefully have a Sale sign in the ground by Tuesday!
Another pleasant surprise occured first thing this morning. We're now expecting our second child according to the digital pregnancy test. Looks like we're preparing to sell and increase our living space just in time! I was due to start my cycle on June 28th and on the evening of June 26th I experienced some spotting. Only a day and a half earlier then expected so, I thought it was just a regular cycle. It's not the first time that I have started a day or two early and I usually start with light spotting prior to my cycle anyway; but, by June 29th I was done! I let it go for a few days but, by July 2nd I was more than just curious about what was going on. I also stopped in at my Weight Watchers meeting on the 2nd and was disappointed for the second week in a row that I have neither gained nor, lost a single ounce.
I could have taken the test when I got home that evening but, I decided to wait until this morning to perform the test when HCG levels are higher. I am certainly happy that there are now digital tests avaiable. Not that the non-digital ones are less accurate. It's just that the digital ones are so much easier to read and understand.
If my calculations are correct we should be welcoming our new arrival sometime within the first week of March. Hopefully we will be able to move and get JG settled into a new house sooner then later. A big boy bed and potty-training are just around the corner and now we will need to help JG prepare and adjust to a new sibling...It's gonna be quite the year!
Another pleasant surprise occured first thing this morning. We're now expecting our second child according to the digital pregnancy test. Looks like we're preparing to sell and increase our living space just in time! I was due to start my cycle on June 28th and on the evening of June 26th I experienced some spotting. Only a day and a half earlier then expected so, I thought it was just a regular cycle. It's not the first time that I have started a day or two early and I usually start with light spotting prior to my cycle anyway; but, by June 29th I was done! I let it go for a few days but, by July 2nd I was more than just curious about what was going on. I also stopped in at my Weight Watchers meeting on the 2nd and was disappointed for the second week in a row that I have neither gained nor, lost a single ounce.
I could have taken the test when I got home that evening but, I decided to wait until this morning to perform the test when HCG levels are higher. I am certainly happy that there are now digital tests avaiable. Not that the non-digital ones are less accurate. It's just that the digital ones are so much easier to read and understand.
If my calculations are correct we should be welcoming our new arrival sometime within the first week of March. Hopefully we will be able to move and get JG settled into a new house sooner then later. A big boy bed and potty-training are just around the corner and now we will need to help JG prepare and adjust to a new sibling...It's gonna be quite the year!
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